A Question Answered Through Writing This

Scatter brained and frustrated I attempt to capture feelings, thoughts, and experiences in words. Periodically this is impossible, and I crave another outlet. I long to express/vent/let go of all the things that fill up my brain space. Prayer helps. Jesus helps. He is the answer to it all, honestly. That is not a religious, over-spiritual statement. It is truth, and has proven true in my life time and again. I still try to express the questions. Maybe just to present them. Maybe because if I do I feel more human, as if I am not numb and just accepting of 'the way it is.' Indifference has been my most feared reality for some time. I want to know that it hurts to feel. I want no anesthetic when it comes to suffering, pain, death, war, disease, loss. It opens me up to discomfort, and yet that is much more welcomed in my life that ignorance.

Tonight I attempted to capture this all. The pictures and words represent what has occupied and caused feeling recently.

Hezbollah: a Shi'a Islamist political and paramilitary organisation based in Lebanon. It is a major provider of social services, operating schools, hospitals, and agricultural services for thousands of Lebanese Shi'a, and plays a significant role in Lebanese politics. It's considered a resistance movement in much of the Arab and Muslim world. A lot of countries have condemned it's actions, though Syria and Iran have been mostly supportive. Whether it is a terrorist organization or not depends on who you're speaking to. My sister is in Lebanon and there are some tensions surrounding actions of Hezbollah, as well as a visit from the Iranian president. Its unnerving and causes me to pray. A lot. Pakistan: wondering at how the population are coping with continued lack of resources after the floods. Realizing I have no reference for that kind of need. Taliban stoning: that still happens? Afghani girl: she was 14. U.S. Marines fighting insurgents and she gets killed. Her father's question: "Now what should I do with 'sorry'?" reminds me of people in Northern Uganda, forever maimed, disabled and debilitated due to 'cross-fire' during the conflict. Gypsy girl: displaced by the French government 'cracking down' on gypsies. Begs the question: why are we, as humans, so territorial. Habakkuk 3.2: Lord, I have heard of your fame, I stand in awe of your deeds, O Lord. Renew them in our day... Echoed: Be still. Wait. Rest. Psalm 46.10: Be still and know that I am God...

The last part, the echo in my soul, Psalm 46.10, is all that I really need to focus on in this whole display. "Rely, lean, rest on Me."