One Year Ago

One year ago I had just arrived in Kigali, Rwanda. I had purchased a plane ticket, stepped down from my position at the hospital, said goodbye to loved ones and began a three day long mirage of flights and airplane food that would finally bring me to Rwanda once again, hugging on ones I had missed for the better part of a year. It would be the beginning of a three month long adventure that would not only humble and break me, but also encourage, strengthen and grow me in more ways than words can express. I would learn how to cope with a huge language barrier, wash my clothing by hand, and not only survive but really live in a country not my own. Only one year ago this was all beginning, and now, to see what has transpired since then... I'm speechless. The past few days have found me wondering when I'll return. The longing on my heart has not waned, and the desire has only increased. As I've said before, I know that I am here on purpose and for a season, but it doesn't make the want subside. I am not discontent where I am, but I am not content either. I am learning, growing and plowing ground while I am here, which is all needed in its own right, and is teaching me far more than immediately being gratified. But it doesn't make it any easier. My husband told me recently that "God hasn't forgotten about this," as he tapped his finger on my chest, indicating my heart. "He hasn't forgotten." I nodded in agreement, but still couldn't keep the tears from rolling out of my eyes. It still hurts, but I know it will be good.

Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy. Ps 126.5